Fishtank Humour - Fortunes Tank - All Fortunes

Fishtank Humour - Fortunes Tank - All Fortunes

I'm just driving this way to piss you off.

 - One Liners


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All Fortunes (1186)

Quotes (50)

One Liners (594)

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Thoughts (179)

10 Random Fortunes - [10 More]


I've gotten to the age where I need my false teeth and hearing aid before I can ask where I left my glasses.


If you and your friend are being chased by a grizzly bear, don't worry about out-running the bear, just worry about out-running your friend.


A life with love will have some thorns, but a life without love will have no roses.


Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.


My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. He was pulled in by a strong currant.


Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?


If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose.
Jack Handy


"We say 'educated left foot'... of course, there are many players with educated right foots."
RON JONES, Radio 5 Live


Energizer Bunny arrested -- charged with battery.


There are no passengers on spaceship Earth- we are all the crew.

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