Fishtank Humour - Fortunes Tank - All Fortunes

Fishtank Humour - Fortunes Tank - All Fortunes

People who do the world's real work don't usually wear neckties.

 - One Liners

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10 Random Fortunes - [10 More]

0003

Axiom #2: "Ability to type on a computer terminal is no guarantee of sanity, intelligence, or common sense". Corollary #3: "An infinite number of monkeys at an infinite number of keyboards could produce something like Usenet". Corollary #4: "They could do a better job of it".
Gene Spafford - Usenet Post 1993

0337

Televangelists: The Pro Wrestlers of religion.

0138

"What will you do when you leave football, Jack - will you stay in football?"
Stuart Hall - Radio 5 live

1059

If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?

0670

Let us so live that when we die even the undertaker will be sorry.

0455

I can see clearly now, the brain is gone...

0240

"In comparison, there's no comparison."
RON GREENWOOD

0425

Why are they called buildings, when they're already finished? Shouldn't they be called builts?

0634

If you laugh a lot, when you get older your wrinkles will be in the right places.

1204

When I was a baby I kept a diary. Recently I was reading, it said: Day 1: Still tired from the move. Day 2: Everybody talks to me like I am some kind of idiot.
Steven Wright

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