Fishtank Humour - Fortunes Tank - Quotes

Fishtank Humour - Fortunes Tank - Quotes

We have enough youth, how about a fountain of Smart

 - One Liners


View the Article Index or See a random Article.
Picture Index or See a random Picture.


Add a fortune that changes each time (like the one in the title bar) to your own web page by adding this HTML to a page:

Select a fortune category:

All Fortunes (1186)


Quotes (50)

One Liners (594)

Colemanballs (247)

Proverbs (78)

Thoughts (179)

10 Random Quotes - [10 More]


A philosopher is a person who doesn't care which side his bread is buttered on; he knows he eats both sides anyway.
Joyce Brothers


Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.
Dave Barry


"This book is dedicated to my brilliant and beautiful wife without whom I would be nothing. She always comforts and consoles, never complains or interferes, asks nothing, and endures all. She also writes my dedications."
Albert Malvino


When I hear somebody sigh, "Life is hard," I am always tempted to ask, "Compared to what?""
Sydney J. Harris


I have a microwave fireplace. I can lay in front of the fire for the evening in 8 minutes.
Steven Wright


If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.
Johnny Carson


"Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?"
Spike Milligan


"Said Hamlet to Ophelia, 'I'll draw a sketch of thee; What kind of pencil shall I use? To be or not be?'"
Spike Milligan


"I'd like to go there. But if Jeffrey Archer is there I want to go to Lewisham" - Milligan on whether he believed he would go to heaven.
Spike Milligan


I like to leave messages before the beep.
Steven Wright

Back to Fishtank Humour