Fishtank Humour - Fortunes Tank - Quotes

Fishtank Humour - Fortunes Tank - Quotes

How do you know when it's time to tune your bagpipes?

 - Thoughts

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Fortunes

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All Fortunes (1186)

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Quotes (50)

One Liners (594)

Colemanballs (247)

Proverbs (78)

Thoughts (179)

10 Random Quotes - [10 More]

0022

A philosopher is a person who doesn't care which side his bread is buttered on; he knows he eats both sides anyway.
Joyce Brothers

0031

If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose.
Jack Handy

0966

"Well, we can't stand around here doing nothing, people will think we're workmen."
Spike Milligan

0038

I THINK THERE SHOULD BE SOMETHING in science called the "reindeer effect." I don't know what it would be, but I think it'd be good to hear someone say, "Gentlemen, what we have here is a terrifying example of the reindeer effect."
Jack Handley, The New Mexican, 1988

0028

I drink to make other people interesting.
George Jean Nathan

0028

I drink to make other people interesting.
George Jean Nathan

0029

Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.
Dave Barry

0029

Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.
Dave Barry

0033

Why hate someone for the color of their skin when there are much better reasons to hate them.
Denis Leary

0969

"He sent me a fax. It said: "I hope you go before me because I don't want you singing at my funeral" - Sir Harry Secombe after receiving a message from Milligan."
Spike Milligan

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