Fishtank Humour - Fortunes Tank - Quotes

Fishtank Humour - Fortunes Tank - Quotes

If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything.

 - One Liners

[Articles][Pictures][Fortunes][Links]

View the Article Index or See a random Article.
Picture Index or See a random Picture.

Fortunes

Add a fortune that changes each time (like the one in the title bar) to your own web page by adding this HTML to a page:

Select a fortune category:

All Fortunes (1186)

->

Quotes (50)

One Liners (594)

Colemanballs (247)

Proverbs (78)

Thoughts (179)

10 Random Quotes - [10 More]

0030

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
Dave Barry

1198

Im writing a book. I have all the page numbers down, now I just have to fill in the rest.
Steven Wright

0034

I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, "I'd like some fries." The girl at the counter said, "Would you like fries with that?"
Jay Leno

0034

I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, "I'd like some fries." The girl at the counter said, "Would you like fries with that?"
Jay Leno

0025

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?
Steven Wright

1206

For a while I didnt have a car, so I drove a helicopter. I didnt have anywhere to park it so I tied a rope to it, and left it running.
Steven Wright

0036

"This book is dedicated to my brilliant and beautiful wife without whom I would be nothing. She always comforts and consoles, never complains or interferes, asks nothing, and endures all. She also writes my dedications."
Albert Malvino

0037

There's something different about us -- different from people of Europe, Africa, Asia ... a deep and abiding belief in the Easter Bunny.
Gordon Liddy

0031

If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose.
Jack Handy

1208

I have a large sea shell collection which I keep scattered on the beaches all over the world.
Steven Wright

Back to Fishtank Humour