Fishtank Humour - Fortunes Tank - Thoughts

Fishtank Humour - Fortunes Tank - Thoughts

I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather ... Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

 - One Liners

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Fortunes

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All Fortunes (1186)

Quotes (50)

One Liners (594)

Colemanballs (247)

Proverbs (78)

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Thoughts (179)

10 Random Thoughts - [10 More]

1127

If fire fighters fight fire, and crime fighters fight crime, what do freedom fighters fight?

1024

Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.

0972

Do not criticize the humble peanut for its inability to fly. For even the golden eagle, in all its feathered majesty, is not nearly so salty.

1138

If you ever reach total enlightenment while you're drinking a beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose.

1071

Confession is good for the soul, but bad for your career.

1073

It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.

1005

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

1103

In difficult moments, behave like a duck. Keep calm and unruffled on the surface, but keep paddling away like crazy underneath.

1036

Can atheists get insurance for acts of God?

1019

If you receive something that says "Send this to everyone you know," PLEASE pretend you don't know me.

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