1. Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.
2. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your kleenex to other
3. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: Shut up,
dammit, all of you just shut UP!
4. Whistle the first seven notes of It's a Small World incessantly.
5. Sell Girl Scout cookies.
6. On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the
8. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: Got
enough air in there?
9. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours
10. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall,without
11. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank thedoors open,
then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
12. Lean over to another passenger and whisper: Noogie patrolcoming!
13. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask
them to call you Admiral.
14. Floss your teeth.
15. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open
until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go plink at the bottom.
16. Do Tai Chi exercises.
17. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce:
I've got new socks on!
18. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: Oh, not now,
damn motion sickness!
19. Give religious tracts to each passenger.
20. Meow occassionally.
21. Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
22. Frown and mutter "gotta go, gotta go" then sigh and say oops!
23. Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.
24. Sing Mary had a little lamb while continually pushing buttons.
25. Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends.
26. Walk on with a cooler that says human head on the side.
27. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce You're one
of "THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.
28. Burp, and then say "mmmm...tasty!"
29. Leave a box between the doors.
30. Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button forthem.
31. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers through it.
32. Start a sing-along.
33. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "is that your beeper?"
34. Play the harmonica.
35. Shadow box.
36. Say "Ding!" at each floor.
37. Lean against the button panel.
38. Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons
39. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
40. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to theother
passengers that this is your personal space.
41. Bring a chair along.
42. Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger: Wanna see wha in
43. Blow spit bubbles.
44. Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings
45. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
46. Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.
47. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
48. Wear X-Ray Specs and leer suggestively at other passengers.
49. Stare at your thumb and say I think it's getting larger.
50. If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler" Bad touch!"