Here are the latest concepts to add to your vocabulary and subject to
rigorous analysis in the late 90s office and university environment.
Enjoy and use them wisely as you wouldn't want to make any CLMs :
- The process by which some people seem to absorb success and
advancement by kissing up to the boss.
- Sitting around in a group discussing why a deadline was
missed or a project failed and who was responsible.
- Seagull Manager
- A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps
over everything and then leaves.
- Salmon day
- The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream
only to get screwed and die in the end.
- Chainsaw consultant
- An outside expert brought in to reduce the
employee head count, leaving the brass with clean hands.
- Career Limiting Move
- Used among microserfs to describe
- advised activity. Trashing your boss while he or she is within
earshot is a serious CLM.
- The rarefied organizational layers beginning just
above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are
often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were
designed to solve.
- To be exploited and oppressed by your boss. Derived from the
experiences of Dilbert, the geek-in-hell comic strip character. "I've
been dilberted again. The old man revised the specs for the fourth time
- Flight Risk
- Used to describe employees who are suspected of planning
to leave the company or department soon.
- Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message
"404 Not Found," meaning that the requested document could not be
located. Used as in: "Don't bother asking him . . . he's 404, man."
- Features of the American landscape that are exactly the
same no matter where one is, such as fast food joints, strip malls,
subdivisions. Used as in: "We were so lost in generica that I forgot
what city we were in."
- That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that
you've just made a BIG mistake.
- Percussive Maintenance
- The fine art of whacking the crap out of an
electronic device to get it to work again.
- A sexual relation of dubious standing or a concealed intimate
relationship, as in "This is Dyan, my ... um ... friend."
- Body Nazis
- Hardcore exercise and weightlifting fanatics who look down
on anyone who doesn't work out obsessively.
- Cube Farm
- An office filled with cubicles.
- Idea Hamsters
- People who always seem to have their idea generators
- Mouse Potato
- The online, wired generation's answer to the couch
- Prairie Dogging
- When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube
farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.
- What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them
stops working to stay home with the kids. Stands for Single Income, Two
Children, Oppressive Mortgage.
- Starter Marriage
- A short-lived first marriage that ends in divorce with
no kids, no property and no regrets.
- Stress Puppy
- A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and
- Swiped Out
- An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because
the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.
- People who take training classes just to get a vacation from
their jobs. Example: "We had three serious students in the class; the
rest were just tourists."
- Hacker slang for documentation or other printed material.
- Xerox Subsidy
- Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one's
- Going Postal
- Euphemism for being totally stressed out, for losing it.
Makes reference to the unfortunate track record of postal employees who
have snapped and gone on shooting rampages.
- Alpha Geek
- The most knowledgeable, technically proficient person in an
office or work group.
- Chips and Salsa
- Chips = hardware, salsa = software. i.e. "Well,
first we gotta figure out if the problem's in your chips or your salsa."
- G.O.O.D. Job
- A "Get-Out-Of-Debt" job. A well-paying job people take in
order to pay off their debts, one that they will quit as soon as they
are solvent again.
- Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying but
you find yourself unable to stop watching them. The O.J. trials were a
- Euphemism for being fired. Heard on the voicemail of a
Vice president at a downsizing computer firm: "You have reached the
number of a deinstalled vice president. Please dial our main number and
ask the operator for assistance." (See also, "Decruitment.")
- Vulcan Nerve Pinch
- The taxing hand position required to reach all the
appropriate keys for certain commands. For instance, the warm reboot
for a Mac II computer involves simultaneously pressing the Control key,
the Command key, the Return key and the Power On key.
- Yuppie Food Stamps
- The ubiquitous $20 bills spewed out of ATMs
everywhere. Often used when trying to split the bill after a meal -
"We owe $8 each, but all anybody's got are yuppie food stamps."