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David Ginola
Vagina dildo

Teddy Sheringham
Teddy Minge rash

Ossie Ardiles
Arse is soiled

Diego Maradona
O dear, I'm a gonad

Tony Blair PM
I'm Tory plan B

Virginia Bottomley
I'm an evil Tory bigot

Michael Heseltine
Elect him, he's alien

David Mellor
Dildo marvel

Dame Agatha Christie
I am a right death case

The Metropolitan Police Force
I'm fellatio, the erect porno cop

Benson and Hedges
NHS been a godsend

Selina Scott
Elastic snot

Mel Gibson
Big melons

Gloria Estefan
Large fat noise

Chris Rea
Rich arse

Martina Navratilova
Variant rival to a man

Gabriela Sabatini
Insatiable airbag

Irritable Bowel Syndrome
O my terrible drains below

Evil's Agent

A Rope Ends It

The Morse Code
Here Come Dots

Woman Hitler

Is No Meal

A Decimal Point
I'm a Dot in Place

Eleven plus two
Twelve plus one

President Clinton, of the USA
To copulate, he finds interns

Motorway Service Station
I eat coronary vomit stews.

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