The best way to a man's heart is to saw his breast plate open.
Women's restroom, Murphy's, Champaign, IL
If you can piss this high, join the fire department.
On the wall in the men's restroom at a height of 6 feet, O'Ryan's - Irish
Pub, Ashland, Oregon.
If you voted for Clinton in the last election, you can't take a dump here.
Your asshole is in Washington."
Men's room Outback Steakhouse, Tacoma, Washington
Beauty is only a light switch away.
Perkins Library, Duke University, Durham, North Carolina.
I've decided that to raise my grades I must lower my standards.
Houghton Library, Harvard University, Cambridge, Massachusetts.
If life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life, then let's all get
wasted together and have the time of our lives
Armand's Pizza, Washington, D.C.
If Bush were captain of the Titanic, he'd say we were stopping for ice.
Smoky Joe's, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.
Remember, it's not, "How high are you?" it's "Hi, how are you?"
Rest stop off Route 81, West Virginia.
God made pot. Man made beer. Who do you trust?
The Irish Times, Washington, D.C.
Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
The Bayou, Baton Rouge, Louisiana.
No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of putting up
Men's Room, Linda's Bar and Grill, Chapel Hill, North Carolina.
At the feast of ego, everyone leaves hungry.
Bentley's House of Coffee and Tea, Tucson, Arizona.
It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
Written in the dust on the back of a bus, Wickenburg, Arizona.
Make love, not war. - Hell, do both, get married!
Women's restroom, The Filling Station, Bozeman, Montana.
If voting could really change things, it would be illegal.
Revolution Books, New York, New York.
A Woman's Rule of Thumb: If it has tires or testicles, you're going to have
trouble with it.
Women's restroom, Dick's Last Resort, Dallas, Texas.
If pro is opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress? Congress!
Men's restroom, House of Representatives, Washington, D.C.
Watch out for Gay Limbo Dancers
Inside toilet stall door, Men's restroom, ???
Express Lane: Five beers or less
Sign over one of the urinals, Ed Debevic's, Phoenix, AZ.
You're too good for him.
Sign over mirror in Women's restroom, Ed Debevic's, Beverly Hills, CA.
No wonder you always go home alone.
Sign over mirror in Men's restroom, Ed Debevic's, Beverly Hills, CA.
What are you looking up on the wall for? The joke is in your hands.
Men's restroom, Lynagh's, Lexington, Kentucky.