Fishtank Humour - Article Tank - Military Reports

Fishtank Humour - Article Tank

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Military Reports
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Actual lines from U.S military Officer Efficiency Reports:

  • Not the sharpest knife in the drawer
  • Got into the gene pool while the life guard wasn't watching
  • A room temperature IQ
  • Got a full 6 pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together
  • A prime candidate for natural de-selection
  • Bright as Alaska in December
  • Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming
  • So dense, light bends around him (I love this one)
  • If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week
  • Wheel is turning but the hamster is dead

Extracts from Royal Navy and Marines Officer fitness reports:

  • His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of curiosity
  • I would not breed from this officer
  • He has carried out each and every one of his duties to his entire satisfaction
  • He would be out of his depth in a car park puddle
  • This young lady has delusions of adequacy
  • This medical officer has used my ship to carry his genitals from port to port, and my officers to carry him from bar to bar.
  • Since my last report he has reached rock bottom and has started to dig
  • She sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to meet them
  • He has the wisdom of youth and the energy of old age
  • Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.
  • This man is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot"

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